Shawarma Police, arrest this man, my wrap tastes too dry.

So, what’s this all about, then? Here are some questions and also some answers:

Who?

Will Millinship, aka @willmill82 on whatever social media platform I’m on these days.

What?

Mainly kebabs, mainly.

Why?

It’s a good question. I think it’s because I like them enough to try to engage people in conversation about them, and invariably people will say “ooh, don’t like them, all covered in flies and made of rats and dogs, but I like the skewer ones, what are they called?”, and then I say “Shish”, and then they carry on talking about how bad doner meat is and how a mates uncle once ate a bad kebab and is now dead from bad kebab poisoning. 

This here blog was founded with education as it’s principal principle, i.e. Doner is actually very good when done properly, and the ignorance as illustrated above needs it’s teeth smashed out and it’s dog put down. Yes, I am hear to evangelise, baby! SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS! KEBABS ARE BACK, DADDY!

How?

For now, via the medium of text and photos on this here site, shawarma police dot com. In the future… video?

When?

As often as I feel like it in all honesty. If you look at the site history, I stopped blogging for five years because there wasn’t a lot to say (plus I went on a silly diet and lost 40% of my body weight, so kebabs were off the menu for a bit) – but now there’s a food blogger bandwagon on which I am a jumpin’ in the hope that someone out there will one day pay me money to do this.

Where?

Glasgow, cos that’s where I live and work. Will periodically provide updates from further afield, f’rinstance I expect I’ll be at the Edinburgh Festival next month, so when I am, Edinburgh kebabs will be on this site. Who knows?

Any other competent business?

Well, now’s a good time to explain the rules.

1. Pitta breads are awful and should be nowhere near a kebab. As such, any kebab house employing these arseholes as meat containers will only be able to get a maximum score of 6/10 as punishment for what the FA call “fielding a weakened team”.

2. You know those pickled jalapenos that some kebab shops use to garnish their ‘babs? I don’t like them, and I will again discourage their use via the rating system – whatever score they would have got will be converted into the corresponding negative number, e.g. a pretty good kebab, 8/10, which is RUINED by a PICKLED BASTARD, will get -8 out of ten.

Question: Why do a lot of your posts have nothing to do with kebabs?

Well, it’s to make it more interesting. I could start every post with “Today I went for a kebab”, but that would be awful. I may take a while to get there, but I do in the end, and as long as nobody dies, then it’s fine.

Do you like Radiohead?

Not massively. I was a big fan of Oasis when Radiohead knocked them off their perch, so a little bit of lingering resentment, but that said, Street Spirit’s a good tune, and there are quite a few amusing covers of Creep on Spotify, so that’s nice.

Show us your mad SEO skills.

Thought you’d never ask! Glasgow, Shawarma, Kebab, Doner, Shish, Doner Kebab, Shish Kebab, Kebab Kebab, Kebab Kebab Kebab, KEBAB, kEbAb, Paisley, Edinburgh, Kebab again, wrap, nan, pitta, chicken, lamb, horse, owl, bear, kofta, seekh kebab, salad, sauce, garlic mayo, red stuff, not sure what the hell that is, beef.

For more writerings from this author, why not check out Explainin’ The Cosmos?