Recently, on my Facebook page, I was asked the question “what is the best kebab shop in the West End?” – and I couldn’t answer that. Truth is, it’s been years since I spent any serious amount of time in the West End, and so much has changed. Trump is now President of the United States, we’re all doing a Brexit, and all the credit’s been crunched.
For most of the 10’s, I’ve been living in the South Side of Glasgow, and I have been blessed with some of the best kebab shops on my doorstep – Danny Singh’s, Kurdish Street Food, Kurdistan Shawarma, Desi’s, Kebabish Grill (not to be confused with Kebabish Original), so why go West? Also, going to the West End makes me think of university and then I remember that I’m 35 and then I see all these young people having fun and I think “Oh God, where has my life gone”, and then the existential crisis kicks in, so I don’t go there very often. That said, they do have a Waitrose.
All this changed the other day, when for no apparent reason, I decided to go to the West End. I was at the train station buying a ticket in to town, when I thought “hang on, for an extra 50p, I could get to Partick!”. The train geek in my head was doing some entirely unnecessary upselling on behalf of Abellendio Scotrail – and it worked. As I alighted the train in Partick, the question put to me on Facebook came back to me, so I thought I’d go for a wander.
I ended up on Great Western Road after a quick trip to Waitrose to get a free coffee – they make you buy stuff now to qualify for it, so I begrudgingly bought the i Paper for 60p – then, when the Partners weren’t looking, hammered the hell out of the extra shot button. Ha! One-nil to me, John Lewis Partnership! I figured Gt Western Road would be the ideal place to look for the best kebab in the West End, because a) it’s got all the trendy food places, b) Byres Road no longer have a kebab shop, and c) because my favourite kebab shop from my student days, Cafe India, was on it. Now, the eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed by now that this post isn’t about Cafe India – well, no. They were shut. So I kept on walking. Barbeque Kings – shut. Byblios – shut – apparently they don’t open on Sundays. Eventually I got to Morello’s, and this happened:
Lets start off with the good bits, shall we? The chicken doner above was all in all fairly pleasant – the meat was well marinaded, full of flavour and succulence, and was served with a sizeable portion of salad, including red cabbage! This should be a standard on kebabs in my view, but very few places serve it. Well done Morello’s for doing that.
Can you spot what’s wrong with the above picture? Here’s a clue: It’s a fucking GHERKIN. The pickled chilli I am not a fan of (see the about page on this blog) but I understand that it happens, and some people like it. A gherkin though?
I went on Twitter and asked my followers their thoughts, via the medium of the poll:
Chillis, it turns out, people overwhelmingly like. If this was a democratic blog, I would respect this opinion, but it’s not, so I won’t. What genuinely surprised me, however, was how many people thought that gherkins somehow belong on a kebab. I can only conclude that either everyone was drunk, or the poll was hacked by a malign foreign power looking to subvert Britain’s kebab based economy.
Either way, GHERKINS SHOULD GO NOWHERE NEAR A KEBAB.
Overall, I give Morello’s -6 out of ten. Why the minus? Well, rules is rules – the pickled chilli was on there, it gets a minus. Other than that, it was a fairly decent munch, too large to finish (the naan bread got chucked), though I suspect I would have been kinder with the rating had this been consumed post-alcohol.
So, for those asking “What *is* the best kebab shop in Glasgow’s West End”, Morello’s are currently winning, by virtue of being the only place I’ve been to since this blog started. I can’t see them staying there for long.
Morello, 253 Great Western Road
Chicken Doner on nan, £5.00. -6/10