I was in town the other day, when I saw this:

SO MANY QUESTIONS.

I mean, the obvious one is this one: WHY? But that in of itself is not a very helpful question to ask, because the only answer to WHY, the wise man said, is “WHY NOT”. So here are some others:

• What chain of events could possibly have happened in order for a local cafe to do some research into how many places in Scotland sell a meat and veg kebab, and find out the answer was zero?
• What chain of events could possibly have happened in order for the said cafe to do some market research into whether or not people would actually buy this stuff?
• Were they not aware that you can add vegetables to the cooked meat at the time of serving in the form of a “salad”?
• What vegetables are they in that there leg?
• Come to think of it, what’s the meat?

That last question, here on Shawarma Police, is not one I would normally ask, but then most vendors advertise their doner meat as lamb, so I don’t have to.

But seriously, what the hell? So I concocted a plan. What I would do, is go into the “shop”, in order to get “food”, so that I can get “content” for this “blog”.

First things first- this isn’t an out and out kebab shop – it’s a cafe in town that has recently started selling kebabs but their main staples are things like toasties (they call them “grilled cheeses”) and more traditional fayre. I did have a menu, somewhere, but apparently not on my phone as a dot jaypeg. But I was here for the kebab, and I did get me a snap of their flyer:

Eschewing the traditional breads of pitta (yay!) and nan (boo), they sell this stuff either in a wrap (which I later find out is a standard tortilla), or a focaccia? Blimey, that’s the sort of mad chewy bread that would soak up all the fat and therefore, in all probability, be an excellent thing to shove your meat in. However, I went all carb conscious at this point and went for the wrap.

(I have decided that pictures of unwrapped kebabs aren’t really that helpful, so I have put my pride to one side and decided to snap partly eaten ones instead. You’re welcome!)

Two things the casual observer here will notice:

1. Isn’t that shawarma rather than a kebab?
2. Isn’t that a pic’n’mix bag off of the Woolworths?

Now, I like this bag. If only Woolworths had sold meaty warm treats instead of teeth destroying lumps of sugar and gelatine, who knows, they may have made it into the 2010s, and as I was eating this on the concourse of Glasgow Central Station, I felt like this wouldn’t make me look like any more of a clown in any case.

But to answer the first question – no. This was unmistakenly doner meat – it had that flavour, the consistency, the Turkish spice mix! But it was not cut into long strips like doner should be, instead it was cut into tiny shawarma like pieces, presumably for aesthetic reasons.

Was it any good? Yeah, it was as it goes. Firstly, despite the “and veg” advertised, I didn’t notice any. This tasted like more or less standard doner, and it was I would suggest better than average, though it won’t win any awards. The fat content though was eye opening. At the bottom of said pick’n’mix bag, by the end of the wrap, must have been about a tablespoonfuls worth of oil down the bottom. Oh, and it wasn’t overly salty, but it was sufficiently salty for me to immediately seek out a can of coke.

Above all, it was a decent size kebab, tasted alright, and cost £4 in the city centre, which is very good value. For comparison, Turquoise round the corner I think now charge over a fiver.

Cafe Sono, under the bridge/umbrella/station/(insert own term here), Argyle St.

£4. Seating available!

6/10, plus a special one star bonus for this amazing neon sign:

Cafe Sono – seven out of ten

 

Edit: Eight out of ten. See comments. Not. A. Clue.