Asda’s Chicken Shawarma

Good day to YOU. So, I was in Asda’s the other day. This sounds like the set up to a joke, but I can assure, this was no joke. Why would you joke about going to Asda? As I type this, I have an internal monologue imagining a mid-90s observational comedian riffing about going to […]

We have a winner… Shawarma King

Morning chums! No review today – just a quick well done to Shawarma King for winning best Kebab in Scotland at the 2022 British Kebab Awards in London Town! As always, I guess the press releases etc will drop in due course, but MP Alison Thewliss has let the “cat” out of the “bag” on […]

Mixed Kebab

Hello. Today’s post is not a review, but rather a blog version of outtakes and the like that never ended up getting a full review for one reason or another – in some cases, it was due to being massively underwhelmed, in others it was because I was busy at the time and just never […]

Chaiiwala – Springfield Quay

Good evening squires/squiresses/squirrels. At time of writing, Jimmy Carr off of the telly has found himself in a lot of bother, and may find himself out of a job soon. Whilst that sucks for Jimmy Carr, it’s an opportunity for the rest of us, isn’t it? One person’s door closes, and another one opens for […]

Doner Kebab flavour Pringles

Hello! A quick review today, by way of a request/tip-off – Doner Kebab Pringles are a thing. Well, I say Pringles – these were released to coincide with Euro 2020, which itself ended up arriving a year late, so here I am eating them and it’s nearly September. Pringoools! Geddit? It’s a joke. In keeping […]

French Tacos Cafe, London and Chilli Cottage, Glasgow: Battle of the badly-named but rather tasty international foodstuffs from restaurants with corner locations

HELLO! *waves manically* If you, like me, have often wondered what the BEST badly-named but rather tasty international foodstuff is, particularly from restaurants that occupy space at the corner of a row of shops, then this is the review for you. I have scoured the length* and breadth** of the country*** to find challengers for […]

Dunya, Duke Street

Hello! My head’s stopped working. I’m not sure if this is what one would call “writer’s block”, and to call this “writing” is I suppose factually accurate, if not a particularly great example of the oeuvre. I’m not even sure that oeuvre is the right word to use? Is oeuvre even a word? Doesn’t it […]

Döner Hub, Cathcart

Hello! Today, I went to Cathcart, Glasgow’s most scenic suburb. Don’t believe me? Think this is another shawarmapolice.com “silly” “joke”? Not at all. You’ve got Holmwood House, you’ve got the Snuff Mill Bridge. You’ve got the demolished Scottish Power head office where I had three job interviews in the last noughties, all knock backs, all […]

Turkiye, Candleriggs

Evening! I’m gonna keep this one uncharacteristically brief, folks – for no other reason than I’m absolutely bank-holidayed out. Decided it was a nice day for a walk, and because I’m an idiot, I decided to embark upon a 10 mile walk in the 21° sun whilst wearing a jacket. In fairness, I have a […]